Epsonow Magazine

Page 15 - Dave's Diary

8:30 a.m. No intention of working hard today. The new boss, who started on Monday is bound to be still trying to come to grips with the entire business, let alone worrying herself about the operations of my department. Time, I think for a cup of coffee and maybe a game or two of Solitaire.

8:50 a.m. Just had an e-mail from the boss. She wants me to come and talk to her about something to do with the "performance" of my department. What's this about? I have a bad feeling something not too good is about to go down.

9:23 a.m. That woman is out of her mind! No doubt about it. She wants a complete report on the department's operations, staffing and budgets by 4 o'clock this afternoon. In her dreams. She's talking about a 300-page colour document with charts, graphs and tables. Even when I tried to explain this to her, she just gave me one of those patronising smiles she's already becoming notorious for.

9:48 a.m. Have just had a meeting with my staff, informing them of the project. They were actually quite calm to start with, obviously unable to grasp the impossible nature of the job. Took me a good ten minutes to explain to them how truly difficult it would be and even then, had to threaten them with the sack if they didn't come through. Now, finally, I can get around to a few games of Solitaire...

2:13 p.m. The report's done! Unbelievable. What an incredible testament to my leadership. All that's needed now is to print the thing and I'm home and hosed.

2:22 p.m. I don't believe this! We've just tried to print the report and it looks like the network has gone down. Nothing's happening. Better get those layabouts from IT up here to get it back on line. I don't think anyone appreciates the pressure of this job.

3:01 p.m. We've just had word from the IT department. Apparently the departmental network isn't going to be available until tomorrow morning, which means we can't use the colour laser printer. I think I'll cry. They've given us - of all things - an inkjet printer to tide us over. Yes, I'm definitely going to cry, now. I have a 300-page report to print in less than an hour and they expect me to do it on an inkjet printer!? I'm beginning to think that in this company, IT stands for Incredibly Thick.

3:08 p.m. A young fellow from Incredibly Thick has just finished installing the inkjet - an Epson Stylus™ Color C801, I believe - on my secretary's PC. This isn't going to work. I know it! How can anyone be expected to work in such an unprofessional environment. I'll play a game or two of Solitaire to calm down.

3:31 p.m. Sharon, my secretary, has just come in and given me the first half of the report. Nearly 150 pages and over 30 of those with graphs and charts! Impossible. She only started printing the thing about 20 minutes ago. What the hell is going on out there? Time to find out.

3:35 p.m. Just been out to Sharon's workstation. As far as I was concerned, the C80 was having a fit or something. It was spitting out pages every few seconds. Apparently this little inkjet prints at up to 20 pages per minute. Praise be. Maybe this hideous project will be done on time.

3:41 p.m. OK. Time to regain a bit of composure. I'm so thirsty. A quick game of Solitaire and a glass of water before Sharon brings in the rest of the document. Oh, no...

3:53 p.m. Damnedest thing just happened. I knocked over my bottle of water and spilt it all over two pages of the report. When I wiped it off, the ink didn't run or even smudge3. What gives? Anyway, Sharon's just come in with the rest of the report, and the quality of the charts and graphs is amazing4. Off to the boss now. This'll show her!

4:02 p.m. Back from presenting the report to the boss. Well, presenting is hardly the word I'd use. She simply put it in her briefcase and said, given that she had nothing better to do at night, would read it when she went home this evening. I swear, I hate working in a job where my wife is the boss. Ah, well, better head off home and cook dinner.

What Dave's Talking About

  1. The Epson Stylus Color C80 along with the C70 were released to the market in October, 2001. They are colour inkjet printers designed specifically for the serious business user.
  2. The C80 has a draft black text print speed of up to 20 pages per minute5 and the C70, capable of printing at up to 16 pages per minute5.
  3. Both the C70 and C80 utilise pigment inks that, when used with specific Epson papers, work to create prints that are fade-, water- and smudge-resistant.
  4. The C70 and C80 are capable of printing at resolutions up to 2880 dots per inch. Adding even further to the printers' finely detailed output is the incorporation of Epson's Micro Piezo printhead and three picolitre Variable-Sized Droplet technology.

3 "ppm" rating refers to the number of pages printed in one minute. The computer environment we test under is as follows: CPU: 600MHZ Pentium III; RAM: 128MB; OS: Windows 98; Interface/Connectivity: USB

5 "ppm" rating refers to the number of pages printed in one minute. The computer environment we test under is as follows: CPU: 1GHZ Pentium III (Dell Dimension 4100); RAM: 128MB; OS: Windows ME; Interface/Connectivity: USB